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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?